In one of my last years in college I was sexually assaulted. To try and reconnect to myself I spend time with family, looking at past family memories. This is where I found these young photographs of myself. I. looked so much warmer as a child, when I didn't know things like this could happen. My eyes seemed much colder in my college ID photo which was taken 3 days after my assault.
I felt shame like I had never felt before.
When my mother (who was a survivor of sexual violence herself) found out, there was a distinct reaction of grief and anguish.
She blamed herself.
For the first time, my otherwise untouched idea of having children when i was older faltered.
